After Two-Year Exodus, Mr. Potato Head Makes Ignominious Return to CNN

Contact Your Elected Officials

Look at what pasty flesh-blob the cat dragged in.

He was always a CNN basic bitch at heart; heโ€™s just coming home now.

Via Variety (emphasis added):

โ€œIn an email to subscribers of CNNโ€™s โ€œReliable Sourcesโ€ media newsletter, Stelter said he will be returning as the lead author of the publication he founded in 2015. He said he will relaunch the newsletter on Sept. 9. In addition, Stelter will make on-air appearances on CNN as a commentator and create โ€œdigital content.โ€

Under CNNโ€™s previous leadership regime, the news network parted ways with Stelter after cancelling the TV show (also called โ€œReliable Sourcesโ€) in 2022. Stelter returns to pick up the mantle of โ€œReliable Sourcesโ€ newsletter after the exit last month of Oliver Darcy, who had come aboard to work on the newsletter and was assigned to keep the newsletter movingโ€ฆ

โ€œBut this is not going to be a โ€˜Back to the Futureโ€™ remake,โ€ Stelter wrote in the email Tuesday. โ€œThe media industry has matured, CNN has evolved, and I have changed a lot since I signed off two years ago. I loved my old life as the anchor of a Sunday morning show but, to borrow some lingo from my video game blogger days, I finished that level of the game. Time for new levels, new challenges.โ€

Stelter said heโ€™s returning to CNN in a new role as chief media analyst, โ€œwhich means Iโ€™ll be appearing on air, developing digital content, and helming this newsletter. It will be different, because I am different.โ€โ€

Spoiler alert: It wonโ€™t be different.

Whether Stelter is in at CNN or floating around somewhere in the ether grasping for relevance โ€” it doesnโ€™t really matter. 

Iโ€™ll be honest; the entire reason Iโ€™m writing this is to justify dredging up humiliating clips of Brian Stelter for schadenfreude, an indulgence I trust you will forgive.  

Here is Michael Wolff brutally denigrating Stelter on his very own show, met with uncomfortable sociopathic fake chuckling from Stelter and not even an attempt at self-defense. Itโ€™s about as close to small penis humiliation porn as weโ€™ll ever get on network television.

โ€œI think the media has done a terrible jobโ€ฆ youโ€™re full of sanctimony. You become one of the parts of the problem with the media. You come on here and you have a monopoly on truth, you know exactly how things are supposed to be done, you are one of the reasons people canโ€™t stand the media. Itโ€™s your faultโ€ฆโ€

Donโ€™t talk to much. Listen more. People have genuine problems with the mediaโ€ฆ the media doesnโ€™t get the story rightโ€ฆ Youโ€™re incredibly repetitiveโ€ฆ week after weekโ€ฆ. Thereโ€™s a problem here. Figuring out what is real is not so easy. And most people donโ€™t want to turn to Brian Stelter to tell us whatโ€™s real.โ€

Here is Stelter pretending to not understand or actually not understanding โ€” which is worse? โ€” how the profit motive for corporate state media works, claiming that network executives donโ€™t care about ratings.

Have some Infometal.

Ben Bartee is an independent Bangkok-based American journalist with opposable thumbs.

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Ben Bartee
Ben Barteehttps://armageddonprose.substack.com/
BEWARE!!! Ben Bartee never minces words, so read at your own risk. Ben is a Bangkok-based American journalist, grant writer, political essayist, researcher, travel blogger, and amateur philosopher -- with opposable thumbs. He is the author of Broken English Teacher: Notes From Exile.

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