Sad? UCSF Scientists Implant First Brain Chip to Make You Happy

5Mind. The Meme Platform
Neural Implants

Melancholy is part of the human condition. Neural implants can fix that.

36 year-old woman who suffered from life-long depression, known only as “Sarah,” appears to have been cured by a digital brain implant. Unable to alleviate her chronic sadness with counseling or pills, she became the first person to overcome the trance of sorrow through transhumanist innovation.

Deep sadness is as old as attachment and loss. Jacob was inconsolable when he thought his son Joseph had been devoured by a wild animal. Gilgamesh called on every creature to mourn when his best friend Enkidu succumbed to an illness sent by the gods. This emotional vulnerability, oftentimes fatal in itself, extends out into the entire mammalian world. The Buddha called it dukka, or “suffering.”

Even sea turtles cry when they crawl out on land. Biologists say the tears merely protect their eyes, but who knows? Maybe it’s heartbroken turtles all the way down.

Soon, we may finally be free. In a purely material world—bereft of miracles, spiritual enlightenment, or divine grace—modern medicine offers better living through brain chips.

Happiness is a Warm Electrode

Last year, scientists at the University of California, San Francisco began their project by mapping the unique neurological correlates of Sarah’s depressive states. They inserted ten electrodes into her brain, and after ten days of “stimulus-response mapping of emotional circuitry”—coupled with non-invasive deep brain stimulation—they were able to identify both the source and the solution.

Science News reports:

During this mapping phase of the experiment, Sarah felt joy when the right spot was stimulated. “I laughed out loud,” she said in the briefing. “This was the first time I had spontaneously laughed and smiled where it wasn’t faked or forced in five years.”

The team concluded that Sarah’s crushing unease came from overactive gamma waves in her amygdala, part of the brain’s reptilian core. They also discovered her sadness could be alleviated by applying electrical stimulation to her striatum, a limbic structure implicated in reward experiences. Striatal activity radiates outward to distant regions of the brain, with varying effects in different people.

Having mapped the territory using machine learning processes, neurosurgeons set to work refashioning the landscape. They installed a Neuropace RNS System on top of the woman’s skull. The device resembles a flat desktop mouse with two wires coming out.

Surgeons inserted these two leads into her gray matter. One electrode detects activity in her amygdala. The other stimulates her striatum in response. Through this closed-loop system, Sarah’s major depressive disorder appears to be healed. It’s another milestone in the merging of frail humans with the indomitable Machine.

“As time has gone on, it’s been this virtuous cycle, a spiral upwards,” Sarah said. “Everything has gotten easier and easier.”

The results of this sixteen month trial were published in Nature Medicine.

By Joe Allen

Read Full Article on SalvoMag.com

Contact Your Elected Officials
The Thinking Conservative
The Thinking Conservativehttps://www.thethinkingconservative.com/
The goal of THE THINKING CONSERVATIVE is to help us educate ourselves on conservative topics of importance to our freedom and our pursuit of happiness. We do this by sharing conservative opinions on all kinds of subjects, from all types of people, and all kinds of media, in a way that will challenge our perceptions and help us to make educated choices.

The Poisoning of the Mind: How Public Education Stopped Educating

The most disturbing part of our failing educational system is how few care. Failing to educate children is failing the present and abandoning the future.

“Despite” the Truth

Despite signals media skepticism—like “bless his heart”—subtly masking criticism of Trump’s policies and their real-world impact.

Project Anchor 8/12/2026 Gravity Stops for 7 Seconds

Viral story claims a shadowy “Project Anchor” government operation exists above top secret classification, fueling online speculation and intrigue.

Rubio’s Munich Speech Detailed Trump 2.0’s Envisaged New World Order

Sec. of State & Nat’l Security Adv., Marco Rubio, delivered a historic speech at the Munich Security Conference on Trump 2.0’s world order.

Federalism Isn’t a Relic — It’s America’s Political Shock Absorber

The resistance movement in Minneapolis is a glimpse of future conflict over the expansion of federal power, federalism, and the essential role of states.

FBI Director Kash Patel Says Bureau Uncovered Antifa Funding Sources

FBI Director Kash Patel said on Feb. 18 that the law enforcement agency uncovered what he said are funding sources tied to antifa organizations.

FBI Confirms It Received Thousands of Tips in Nancy Guthrie Case

The FBI received thousands of tips related to the disappearance of “Today” show anchor Savannah Guthrie’s mother as case nears its third week.

Executives Sentenced to 20 Years for $233 Million Obamacare Fraud

The president of an insurance brokerage and a marketing CEO were sentenced to 20 years for a long-running scheme defrauding the ACA program.

Billionaire Wexner Says He Went to Epstein’s Island, Didn’t Know of Crimes

Billionaire Leslie Wexner told lawmakers that he traveled to the island owned by the late sex offender Jeffrey Epstein but did not know of Epstein’s crimes.

Trump Signs Order Declaring Glyphosate Production as Critical to National Security

Trump signed an executive order declaring the U.S. glyphosate supply, a controversial herbicide, critical to national and food security key efforts.

Trump Admin Looks to Release 2.5 Million Acres of Timberland in Oregon

The Trump admin is moving ahead with its plan to possibly release 2.5 million acres of some of the world’s most productive timberland in western Oregon.

Trump to Host Representatives From More Than 40 Countries in First Board of Peace Meeting

President Trump’s Board of Peace meets in Washington with nearly 50 nations and the EU to coordinate efforts to rebuild the Gaza Strip.
spot_img

Related Articles

Popular Categories

MAGA Business Central