In our current modern society that values individual freedoms and rights, it is said it does not matter who you choose to marry or have consensual sex with as long as all parties involved are consenting adults. It is said that everyone should have the right to make their own decisions about their personal relationships without fear of discrimination or persecution.
However, our choices often make one wonder whether it matters to the broader society. Stable traditional families are often thought to be the foundation of a moral society. Moral societies are fundamental to having civil societies. Hence, any deviations from this could harm the greater society. For example, these deviations can cause dysfunctional families leading to many of the social ills we see today.
Does it matter what others do in their own bedrooms?
Many of our Sunday Thoughts readers are not necessarily religious nor believe the stories in the Biblical text. Nevertheless, we do live in a Christian society where many do, and hence it might be interesting to see what ideas we can glean – whether the stories are real or even metaphorical.
Consider the notion of marriage discussed in the Bible’s Old Testament. Under Solomon’s reign, the nation of Israel divided and eventually split. King Solomon, however, loved many foreign women besides the Pharaoh’s daughter. Solomon’s idol-worshipping wives led him away from God. In 1 Kings 11:2 it states as follows.
“They were from nations about which the Lord had told the Israelites, “You must not intermarry with them, because they will surely turn your hearts after their gods.” Nevertheless, Solomon held fast to them in love.”
Note that this commandment was not necessarily a racial edict but rather an edict to ensure that the people would not adopt the practices that would lead them against God. The wiles of a woman can be very powerful. We see many examples of this today – see here where many people believe this is precisely what is happening to Prince Harry – but I am sure you have seen many personal examples that are similar.
The people of Israel, including the priests and the Levites, did not keep themselves separate from the neighboring peoples with their detestable practices, like those of the Canaanites, Hittites, Perizzites, Jebusites, Ammonites, Moabites, Egyptians, and Amorites.
Solomon’s decision to take foreign wives led to a 500-year spiritual and moral decay in Israel, ending in child sacrifice, prostitution, and eventual judgment in the Babylonian Exile.
These marriages with people of other nations that worshiped false gods were forbidden in the Law of Moses (Deuteronomy 7:3-4). Ezra agreed that this covenant was the proper course of action. He commanded, “You have been unfaithful; you have married foreign women, adding to Israel’s guilt. Now honor the Lord, the God of your ancestors, and do his will. Separate yourselves from the peoples around you and from your foreign wives” (Ezra 10:10-11).
Ezra 9-10 takes place on the eve of the re-gathering … and unfortunately, the men immediately fell back into the same exact sin as King Solomon.
The point being made here is not whether the old ancient Israel’s sin of idolatry or today’s LGBTQ lifestyles are wrong or right. I will leave that decision to you. The point is that the God of the Old Testament was quite concerned about who one married and the sexual proclivities to protect the greater good of society. Should we not consider this in today’s modern society as well?
What changes have we seen in today’s modern society concerning marriage and sexual relationships?
Over the last 100 years, there have been significant changes in attitudes toward marriage, sexuality, gender, and relationships. One of the most significant changes has been the shift towards more permissive attitudes towards premarital sex and casual sexual relationships. In the early part of the 20th century, premarital sex was often viewed as taboo, and individuals who engaged in sexual activity outside of marriage were often subject to social condemnation or legal consequences.
Additionally, there has been a growing recognition of the diversity of sexual and gender identities, which has challenged traditional notions of gender roles and relationships. The LGBTQ+ rights movement, in particular, has challenged traditional ideas about heterosexuality as the norm and has sought to promote greater acceptance of individuals who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and other identities.
Many critics argue that these changes have led to a breakdown in traditional family structures and a decline in moral values. One can point to statistics such as rising rates of divorce, single parenthood, and out-of-wedlock births as evidence of this decay. Others may argue that permissive attitudes towards sex have contributed to the objectification and commodification of sexuality, leading to issues such as pornography addiction or the sexualization of youth.
So perhaps it does matter to the rest of society what you do in your own bed.
That being said, having government step into your bedroom and regulate your activities as was done in Old Testament Israel is another matter. In America, this is not likely to happen, nor is it desirable in a free society (with consenting adults). Besides, who would you trust to be the regulator in any case? However, one can and should be able to have a rational discussion relative to the topic without fear of retribution for even bringing up the subject. This does not seem to be the case today.
By Tom Williams
